The end to a beginning

I slept at Cockroach last night. I woke up with an ear full of something that won’t let me listen to anyone other than myself. Fabulous.

I’ve run out of motivation for making logical arguments—wait have I actually made such a thing? Ever? I don’t think that I have made a logical move in the entirety of my life. The meaning of my existence is to be that apple which spoils the rest, to be an upset in the stomach that is life, to take the path that isn’t chosen but only when it fits my needs.

It’s funny to think of how much control one actually has over their life. I say something today, it impacts me tomorrow. It’s the Buddhist way of thinking. Such thoughts seem to infect most of my free minutes, the ones in between the thoughts of Daniel or that stupid letter to the editor that’s due tomorrow. And although at times it appears I have ultimate control, something happens which tries to make me doubt my newfound level of enlightenment. But I suppose it’s in those situations where one must find the one thing they can control and go forth. Move into the night not weary or unaware, but knowing that your own self is all you need.

I want to travel alone. Far away from the comforts of Colorado or California to a place that makes me thankful for our winters and lack of bitter cold. BJ has invited me to Alaska before he embarks on his nine month journey. I find myself entertaining thoughts of bundling up and the absent need for sunglasses. I don’t want warmth anymore. Warmth only turns to cold and vice versa. Can’t there be something in the middle, some lukewarm melancholy that stays stagnant and calm?

A shadow is approaching.

Take me, take me back to your bed, I want you so much that it hurts my head...

So a lot has taken place over the last week or so. I broke up with Chipotle. I don't know what it was, but a feeling came over me the last time we hung out and I just couldn't stand to be around him.

I have been seeing a lot of Cory lately (which has nothing to do with the Chipotle break up, it's merely coincidental). It's so nice to be around someone who shares your same sense of humor. He makes me laugh so hard.



I got a 98 on my in class essay. That's sweet.

Today is Saira's birthday, I think we might go out. Not too sure though.

I had a dream about Ryan last night and I woke up missing him hard.

I have a stuffy nose thanks to all of the downtown pollution.

I'm kind of tired. Yaaawwwwn.

People make me laugh. And I think I might change my major to journalism or something, either way I'm pumped for some Poly- Sci at DU. The Delegate University thing was a blast and I learned so much that I kind of wondered if I might forget some of it. Alas, I have retained a majority of what I learned and I plan on putting my knowledge to good use. I'm confident that the fund raising portion will most definitely help with the NPO. :)

I'm glad to have my Brand New CD back. As well as my laptop. I have to stop lending that stuff to people I've known less than a month.

<3