Today is George's 24th birthday!!! Happy Birthday my petite bebe!!!
I've been sick lately. Just really nauseated to the point where I throw up.
I had the pager last night so it may have been a combination of that and being ill that contributed to the horrible dream I had.
I dreamt that Ryan had died and then he didn't and he and I spent some quality time together. Dreams really mean nothing but I think that I miss him a lot so that may have been the reason that happened.
Okay. I'm done thinking about that. So unpleasant. I'm off to buy George's birthday present.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
I like you, do you like me too? Check yes or no.
Isn’t it funny to think of how dating has changed? I remember writing little notes with check boxes, asking the boy to mark yes or no in regards to liking me. Gradually, the method in which we communicate our feelings have matured and become more effective. We use Myspace and other technological means to say, “Hey! I like you. Do you like me too?” And even when exchanging telephone numbers, I feel more mature…
Today I realized how old I was.
I walked into Panera expecting to get my soup and go but as I approached the line, I saw this dude. He was pretty damn attractive so I proceeded to make eye contact with him and held it, which is a first considering I normally look away and laugh. As I was getting my water, we exchanged glances and awkward smiles at the beverage station. That’s when I said to myself, “Just ask him for his number.” So I did.
I gave him my phone number and he gave me his business card.
This is the second business card I’ve gotten from a dude that I’ve gone on a date with.
The business card: if you doubted your age at one time or another, this piece of cardboard will make it glaringly obvious.
Not that it’s a bad thing; I just realized that I’m growing up. And I’m quite proud of how I’m turning out. : )
Today I realized how old I was.
I walked into Panera expecting to get my soup and go but as I approached the line, I saw this dude. He was pretty damn attractive so I proceeded to make eye contact with him and held it, which is a first considering I normally look away and laugh. As I was getting my water, we exchanged glances and awkward smiles at the beverage station. That’s when I said to myself, “Just ask him for his number.” So I did.
I gave him my phone number and he gave me his business card.
This is the second business card I’ve gotten from a dude that I’ve gone on a date with.
The business card: if you doubted your age at one time or another, this piece of cardboard will make it glaringly obvious.
Not that it’s a bad thing; I just realized that I’m growing up. And I’m quite proud of how I’m turning out. : )
Monday, May 12, 2008
"But not me baby. I've got you to save me. Oh you're so bad. Best thing I ever had. In a world gone mad. You're so bad."
Tom Petty is one cool motherfucker. Jesus man... He's so cool...
Just bought my ticket for the Mile High Music Festival. I'm pretty damn pumped.
Ay this weekend was hard. Ryan's leaving tomorrow for Kansas and I couldn't help but cry on Saturday. For some ridiculous reason, I have not been able to hold my alcohol very well as of late... I believe that there is a factor involved that may increase the amount I drink while decreasing the amount of time over which the drinks are consumed. Anyway, that's the only way I can excuse crying like I did. I do have shame and tact most of the time. Ay.
Riss and I spent some time with Kate and I hope that we can all go to lunch or something soon.
In closing, I leave you with this:
Just bought my ticket for the Mile High Music Festival. I'm pretty damn pumped.
Ay this weekend was hard. Ryan's leaving tomorrow for Kansas and I couldn't help but cry on Saturday. For some ridiculous reason, I have not been able to hold my alcohol very well as of late... I believe that there is a factor involved that may increase the amount I drink while decreasing the amount of time over which the drinks are consumed. Anyway, that's the only way I can excuse crying like I did. I do have shame and tact most of the time. Ay.
Riss and I spent some time with Kate and I hope that we can all go to lunch or something soon.
In closing, I leave you with this:
Monday, May 5, 2008
Bill O'Reilly is a pretty funny dude. I don't think I've ever watched someone take their foot and insert it into their mouth and still manage to utter "go!" As if these people, his "guests", need his permission to speak. Even more hilarious is when he interrupts someone and then gives them permission as in: "go" or "go ahead." My favorite though is when he gives them the all time honor of "having the last word." That therein implies that a fight is being had, or at least in my opinion. From there, one can assert that fighting is emotional. And finally, we conclude that Bill O'Reilly, his show, and even his guests, are nothing more than an emotional ploy to pull at the ignorant heart strings of Americans and also those of silly republicans. I find it interesting then, if he is emotional and pretty much the entire premise of his show is to stir emotion, that he is perhaps even more emotional than I. It's only rational to conclude that he gets something from winding his guests up. And those people, people like Bill, well we all know those people. They were the kids who screamed and cried when anything little thing didn't go their way. They called out for their mommies and they told on you, if even if you hadn't done much more than borrow one of their toys. So basically, whether it's logical or not, I feel that Mr. O'Reilly is nothing more than a little boy who never formed an attachment to his mother and who has ended up being starved for attention and will continue to do so for the rest of his existence. The problem with him is that normally, people snap out of that calling for mommy thing but he didn't and that's why he's so extreme and hateful. It's the only way he knows how to get attention. I bet he even makes his wife feel like shit. Oh yeah, definitely, especially because he's got to feel like shit after making everybody else feel like shit oh and also, the lying and blatant disregard for issues at hand. He's clever, like most, and has tricks he uses to not answer questions or move from one thing to the next, he distracts his guests. Think of a scene with a superhero. She/he is fighting off some random villain. You think to yourself, "no prob, she/he will kick their ass" but suddenly it becomes all crazy and the world is spinning and lights are flashing and the hero is all disoriented and has no clue what is going on. Yeah the superhero represents Bill's guests. And the random villain is Bill. See the tactics? Confusion. Some people (and this is my favorite!!! LOL!!!) like Alberto Gonzales use what I like to call convenient memory loss. "I can't recall...I don't remember...That is something I can not recollect" you get the point. And in the post below you'll find that some even resort to making up words and terms like, "Gobbledee Gook" [see post below for correct pronunciation]. Anyway, that's not really the point. The point is that Bill O'Reilly is...well what I what I really want to say is...um... Snoop Dog says it best (^___^) :
This video contains language and adult themes not intended for those under the age of, let's say, 18. So if you're under 18, scroll down a bit and you'll find a video more suitable.
Or if you prefer someone a bit more... eloquent:
I love Olbermann. He's pretty much the man. And he's hot!!! :D Mildly anyway but sophisticated! Ay!
This video contains language and adult themes not intended for those under the age of, let's say, 18. So if you're under 18, scroll down a bit and you'll find a video more suitable.
Or if you prefer someone a bit more... eloquent:
I love Olbermann. He's pretty much the man. And he's hot!!! :D Mildly anyway but sophisticated! Ay!
Robert Greenwald v Frank Gaffney on Hardball with Chris Hansen (kind of old but whatever)
In regards to Blackwater's presence in Iraq
Frank Gaffney: Most of these are people who were until recently in the military doing these jobs in uniform, they're doing them now, having gotten out because the United States Military can't use them in the uniform at the moment they're too small a force. We have a larger war- the War in Iraq as we've talked about before, Chris [Hansen], is one front in a vastly larger problem we're facing. We need a larger military to deal with it. I think of all us would be happy to have people in uniform doing more of these jobs but for the moment we need these kinds of folks and thank God they're as good as they are.
Robert Greenwald makes comments regarding tax dollars being spent to train the employees of Blackwater. Gaffney cuts him off to say this.
Frank Gaffney: [inaudiable] this is completely incoherent 'gobbledee [gobble like a turkey with an "ee" sound] gook [cook with a g, yes together that is Gobbledee Gook].' You're stringing together a lot of assertions. These are people who train, very highly skilled individuals and they come out more highly skilled. They're doing difficult jobs for all of us. I think they deserve our gratitude and appreciation and not this kind of running down and bad mouthing. Are they doing it perfectly in every case? Probably not but I don't know anybody who would and certainly not the arm chair generals who are back here complaining about it.
Chris Hansen to Frank Gaffney: Our country is run by arm chair generals it's called civilian control of the military. Thank you very much for coming on.
Frank Gaffney: Most of these are people who were until recently in the military doing these jobs in uniform, they're doing them now, having gotten out because the United States Military can't use them in the uniform at the moment they're too small a force. We have a larger war- the War in Iraq as we've talked about before, Chris [Hansen], is one front in a vastly larger problem we're facing. We need a larger military to deal with it. I think of all us would be happy to have people in uniform doing more of these jobs but for the moment we need these kinds of folks and thank God they're as good as they are.
Robert Greenwald makes comments regarding tax dollars being spent to train the employees of Blackwater. Gaffney cuts him off to say this.
Frank Gaffney: [inaudiable] this is completely incoherent 'gobbledee [gobble like a turkey with an "ee" sound] gook [cook with a g, yes together that is Gobbledee Gook].' You're stringing together a lot of assertions. These are people who train, very highly skilled individuals and they come out more highly skilled. They're doing difficult jobs for all of us. I think they deserve our gratitude and appreciation and not this kind of running down and bad mouthing. Are they doing it perfectly in every case? Probably not but I don't know anybody who would and certainly not the arm chair generals who are back here complaining about it.
Chris Hansen to Frank Gaffney: Our country is run by arm chair generals it's called civilian control of the military. Thank you very much for coming on.
Wal-Mart may as well sign my paychecks.
Oy! Now I know why DL was so opposed to even walking into one. Had I only known...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3836296181471292925&q=wal-mart+the+high+cost+of+low+prices&ei=FsofSPvMOIj84AKa95jGAQ
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3836296181471292925&q=wal-mart+the+high+cost+of+low+prices&ei=FsofSPvMOIj84AKa95jGAQ
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Saturday, May 3, 2008
"Todah Rada" to Mark Hanis & Rabbi Gerson - Part 2 of 2
I went to Rodef Shalom yesterday... not sure whether it's appropriate for a gentile to refer to it as "temple" or not...
When we pulled up I saw men dressed in suits and women wearing big, fancy hats. I questioned whether I should go inside, seeing as we were all dressed in jeans. But we decided to proceed. When we walked in the door, we were greeted by a kind women who most likely knew we weren't Jewish. She escorted us inside (before hand she made Jon put on a yamika) and we sat down on what can be compared to a pew for Christians and for everyone else, essentially a wooden bench, but the most important things were a) the benches were padded and b) the immense feeling of happiness that washed over me, a comfort unlike any I've felt in several years-- in fact the last time I had this feeling, I was at church with Saira, we must have been 16 or so. Faith is important to me but not essential so I suppose that's why I rarely experience such moments. But as I sat there, watching these conservative Jewish chicks whisper and stare, Rabbi Gerson approached us and introduced himself. He welcomed us, and obviously also knew we weren't Jewish. But he had one of the most pure, nicest smiles I've ever seen. There was no judgment behind his eyes and he was inviting and gentle. I sat there, a bit nervous but mostly excited, and listened. A young girl around the age of 11 or 12 was speaking, reading from the Torah in a beautifully phonetic voice, turning the passages into song-like poems. She was speaking Hebrew I think. I don't know though. I'm very ignorant in regards to religion. Anyway, I couldn't help but be drawn into it, all of it, even when the Rabbi was speaking I was listening attentively, which is something I rarely did in church when I was Catholic.
I don't know what it is, but Judaism kind of appeals to me. Most of the people I've come to know who are Jewish have amazing qualities, extremes on the scale. Extreme intelligence, extreme kindness, so on and so forth. They usually have a pretty decent sense of humor, I've noticed, but for me, it seems like they have a special kind of charisma that only they can posses but again, that may be just me.
The conclusion I'm trying to draw is that just like any other religion, Judaism impacts an individual culturally and the morals and standings adopted from it-Judaism- naturally affects one's personality, choices, likes and dislikes, pretty much everything. They seem to me to be pretty motivated and self- disciplined. I mean all the ones I know are successful and smart. But maybe that's just me and maybe I've only been exposed to certain ones- I don't know, I'm not attempting to make any assertions or trying to stereotype. I'm just trying to show the admiration I have for the ones that I know and how I indirectly or even directly have a deep appreciation for the religion itself.
I came to a conclusion about all of it a while ago. According to Christianity, Jesus is really just God in human form. Jesus was Jewish if I'm not mistaken. So then it seems that the only logical conclusion is that God is Jewish or rather, wants us to be Jewish. But again, and I feel that I have to be overly clear about this because its such a sensitive topic and I don't want to offend anyone, but it's just my belief that Judaism is the more direct religion to God. Christianity is pretty much the worship of not only God, but the form of God as Jesus and the Spirit of God within each one of us. Right? Again, it just seems like Judaism is a direct approach to God, one that's more involved as far as the individual is concerned. For example I'm pretty sure you don't have to go to a Rabbi and confess your sins or whatever... well obviously because they don't believe in sins right? Or maybe they do but anyway the point is they don't have to go to a human being to talk to God, they can do it themselves. I think.
So anyway, I'm going to do some research and I might speak with Rabbi Gerson about the whole thing in an attempt to fully understand what its all about. Not to say I would convert or anything, but just like with Buddhism, I would like to at least have a basic understanding of it.
When we pulled up I saw men dressed in suits and women wearing big, fancy hats. I questioned whether I should go inside, seeing as we were all dressed in jeans. But we decided to proceed. When we walked in the door, we were greeted by a kind women who most likely knew we weren't Jewish. She escorted us inside (before hand she made Jon put on a yamika) and we sat down on what can be compared to a pew for Christians and for everyone else, essentially a wooden bench, but the most important things were a) the benches were padded and b) the immense feeling of happiness that washed over me, a comfort unlike any I've felt in several years-- in fact the last time I had this feeling, I was at church with Saira, we must have been 16 or so. Faith is important to me but not essential so I suppose that's why I rarely experience such moments. But as I sat there, watching these conservative Jewish chicks whisper and stare, Rabbi Gerson approached us and introduced himself. He welcomed us, and obviously also knew we weren't Jewish. But he had one of the most pure, nicest smiles I've ever seen. There was no judgment behind his eyes and he was inviting and gentle. I sat there, a bit nervous but mostly excited, and listened. A young girl around the age of 11 or 12 was speaking, reading from the Torah in a beautifully phonetic voice, turning the passages into song-like poems. She was speaking Hebrew I think. I don't know though. I'm very ignorant in regards to religion. Anyway, I couldn't help but be drawn into it, all of it, even when the Rabbi was speaking I was listening attentively, which is something I rarely did in church when I was Catholic.
I don't know what it is, but Judaism kind of appeals to me. Most of the people I've come to know who are Jewish have amazing qualities, extremes on the scale. Extreme intelligence, extreme kindness, so on and so forth. They usually have a pretty decent sense of humor, I've noticed, but for me, it seems like they have a special kind of charisma that only they can posses but again, that may be just me.
The conclusion I'm trying to draw is that just like any other religion, Judaism impacts an individual culturally and the morals and standings adopted from it-Judaism- naturally affects one's personality, choices, likes and dislikes, pretty much everything. They seem to me to be pretty motivated and self- disciplined. I mean all the ones I know are successful and smart. But maybe that's just me and maybe I've only been exposed to certain ones- I don't know, I'm not attempting to make any assertions or trying to stereotype. I'm just trying to show the admiration I have for the ones that I know and how I indirectly or even directly have a deep appreciation for the religion itself.
I came to a conclusion about all of it a while ago. According to Christianity, Jesus is really just God in human form. Jesus was Jewish if I'm not mistaken. So then it seems that the only logical conclusion is that God is Jewish or rather, wants us to be Jewish. But again, and I feel that I have to be overly clear about this because its such a sensitive topic and I don't want to offend anyone, but it's just my belief that Judaism is the more direct religion to God. Christianity is pretty much the worship of not only God, but the form of God as Jesus and the Spirit of God within each one of us. Right? Again, it just seems like Judaism is a direct approach to God, one that's more involved as far as the individual is concerned. For example I'm pretty sure you don't have to go to a Rabbi and confess your sins or whatever... well obviously because they don't believe in sins right? Or maybe they do but anyway the point is they don't have to go to a human being to talk to God, they can do it themselves. I think.
So anyway, I'm going to do some research and I might speak with Rabbi Gerson about the whole thing in an attempt to fully understand what its all about. Not to say I would convert or anything, but just like with Buddhism, I would like to at least have a basic understanding of it.
"Todah Rada" to Mark Hanis & Rabbi Gerson - Part 1 of 2
This is one of two posts. I didn't want them in one because they're about two different things but they both came from the same experience I had today.
I went to temple, yeah I don't know if I can call it that but that I did. And the other post is going to be about that experience and my take on Judaism. Don't worry, it's not horribly ignorant- hopefully. The reason I went was to listen to Mark Hanis who is one of the co-founders of the Genocide Intervention Network. He was there to speak about the situation in Darfur.
Website: http://www.genocideintervention.net/
Pretty darn useful.
Phone number: 1-800-Genocide
Even better. You can put in your zip code and it will tell you exactly what your state's politicians need to improve regarding their action towards the situation in Darfur and best of all, it will connect you for free directly to said politician. Hanis cited a few senators who cleaned up their act in response to the grades they've received.
You can watch a video:
What Hanis is doing is pretty amazing. It's a good thing and I can't help but think that my teeny contributions have assisted in some way to getting the bill to the House. And the bill was passed but Bush has been taking his sweet time implementing it and he's beyond the deadline so obviously Congress needs to take some action. Hopefully after a phone call or two we'll be able to get that taken care of and finally those poor fucking people will be able to live, which isn't a huge thing to ask. I can't even believe the attitude of the administration- who acknowledged it as being a genocide back in 2005 or something. It's complete bullshit and it only goes to show the incompetency and neglect (I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt although I believe they do nothing because there is no benefit-political or monetary- for the U.S.) by the President and the rest of them regarding this and every other decision made since Bush took office. I keep thinking, "I am saddened, I am dismayed." I feel bothered and also a bit betrayed by a lot of people and I wish so badly there was some easy way to correct everything. I feel like I did when I was a kid and I told my mom I wanted to become president so I could get rid of money. How irrational. In a capitalistic society like America, that would be fatal. And of course there really isn't any alternative. But more importantly if Americans, or at least some of them, shed their egotistical attitude and refuse to be ignorant and blind to the truth, we wouldn't have had to experience a lot of the atrocities that have occurred since 2000. I can't really excuse it because it's so simple to access alternative media resources. It's easy because Michael Moore is commercial and Noam Chomsky is everywhere and the internet! So honestly it has to be laziness and selfishness and weakness and who knows what. I'm sure they have a slew of excuses for not doing anything and for re-electing a horrible president. I bear responsibility too, I may contribute in small ways but it's not enough. I feel so young and naive in my dreams to change the world. But seriously, I just can't ignore the responsibility I have. I mean this is my country, right? And I live in the world. But it's clear that not only are politics motivated by money but religion plays a huge part as well. So you have conservative Christians electing and re-electing Bush, and even some democrats who were turned sour by Gore and/or Kerry and you have this ignorance of a majority of the population and seriously, I wonder how anyone can have faith in this nation to make the right decision. I mean if it comes to Obama being a Muslim and Hillary being a Christian the choice is obvious right? Where is the rationality in that? Because everyone knows religion influences the person and therefore their decisions and actions. And some people associate Muslims with being terrorists is which again shows the ignorance which almost seems to be intentional. Muslims aren't terrorists- terrorists are terrorists. It's so simple, the reality of it. The lies are so complicated which is maybe why people accept that they just don't understand politics. But when you lay it out for them they see things as they are and they realize as well how easy it is to find out. The change needs to come with education of the masses about all of the truly important things that affect them, their country, and the world around them. They must stop with this singular thinking and the notion that they are unaffected by the world. Any respectable person would feel compassion if they saw someone suffering. So you put it in their faces. But I don't ever recall seeing anything in the mainstream media about Darfur. You have to wonder about that as well. Who is in charge of that stuff? Because that's a huge issue. And people need to recognize that too, that the news they receive is bullshit. I keep saying it: It's our responsibility to ensure this shit! Accurate news and a government that isn't corrupt isn't too much to ask! It's not hard to find someone who is able to make good decisions when faced with things like Katrina, Iraq, and Darfur. It's not hard for the media to decide what's important, they just need to be held accountable made aware that we are aware of their motivations - whatever those may be. These things are simple and should be this way regardless but alas we find ourselves so deep in shit it's hard to see a way out. Baby steps. Hopefully those people in Darfur can handle our learning curve. It's not like their lives are depending upon action or anything. I mean they've waited for three years, what's three more?
I went to temple, yeah I don't know if I can call it that but that I did. And the other post is going to be about that experience and my take on Judaism. Don't worry, it's not horribly ignorant- hopefully. The reason I went was to listen to Mark Hanis who is one of the co-founders of the Genocide Intervention Network. He was there to speak about the situation in Darfur.
Website: http://www.genocideintervention.net/
Pretty darn useful.
Phone number: 1-800-Genocide
Even better. You can put in your zip code and it will tell you exactly what your state's politicians need to improve regarding their action towards the situation in Darfur and best of all, it will connect you for free directly to said politician. Hanis cited a few senators who cleaned up their act in response to the grades they've received.
You can watch a video:
What Hanis is doing is pretty amazing. It's a good thing and I can't help but think that my teeny contributions have assisted in some way to getting the bill to the House. And the bill was passed but Bush has been taking his sweet time implementing it and he's beyond the deadline so obviously Congress needs to take some action. Hopefully after a phone call or two we'll be able to get that taken care of and finally those poor fucking people will be able to live, which isn't a huge thing to ask. I can't even believe the attitude of the administration- who acknowledged it as being a genocide back in 2005 or something. It's complete bullshit and it only goes to show the incompetency and neglect (I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt although I believe they do nothing because there is no benefit-political or monetary- for the U.S.) by the President and the rest of them regarding this and every other decision made since Bush took office. I keep thinking, "I am saddened, I am dismayed." I feel bothered and also a bit betrayed by a lot of people and I wish so badly there was some easy way to correct everything. I feel like I did when I was a kid and I told my mom I wanted to become president so I could get rid of money. How irrational. In a capitalistic society like America, that would be fatal. And of course there really isn't any alternative. But more importantly if Americans, or at least some of them, shed their egotistical attitude and refuse to be ignorant and blind to the truth, we wouldn't have had to experience a lot of the atrocities that have occurred since 2000. I can't really excuse it because it's so simple to access alternative media resources. It's easy because Michael Moore is commercial and Noam Chomsky is everywhere and the internet! So honestly it has to be laziness and selfishness and weakness and who knows what. I'm sure they have a slew of excuses for not doing anything and for re-electing a horrible president. I bear responsibility too, I may contribute in small ways but it's not enough. I feel so young and naive in my dreams to change the world. But seriously, I just can't ignore the responsibility I have. I mean this is my country, right? And I live in the world. But it's clear that not only are politics motivated by money but religion plays a huge part as well. So you have conservative Christians electing and re-electing Bush, and even some democrats who were turned sour by Gore and/or Kerry and you have this ignorance of a majority of the population and seriously, I wonder how anyone can have faith in this nation to make the right decision. I mean if it comes to Obama being a Muslim and Hillary being a Christian the choice is obvious right? Where is the rationality in that? Because everyone knows religion influences the person and therefore their decisions and actions. And some people associate Muslims with being terrorists is which again shows the ignorance which almost seems to be intentional. Muslims aren't terrorists- terrorists are terrorists. It's so simple, the reality of it. The lies are so complicated which is maybe why people accept that they just don't understand politics. But when you lay it out for them they see things as they are and they realize as well how easy it is to find out. The change needs to come with education of the masses about all of the truly important things that affect them, their country, and the world around them. They must stop with this singular thinking and the notion that they are unaffected by the world. Any respectable person would feel compassion if they saw someone suffering. So you put it in their faces. But I don't ever recall seeing anything in the mainstream media about Darfur. You have to wonder about that as well. Who is in charge of that stuff? Because that's a huge issue. And people need to recognize that too, that the news they receive is bullshit. I keep saying it: It's our responsibility to ensure this shit! Accurate news and a government that isn't corrupt isn't too much to ask! It's not hard to find someone who is able to make good decisions when faced with things like Katrina, Iraq, and Darfur. It's not hard for the media to decide what's important, they just need to be held accountable made aware that we are aware of their motivations - whatever those may be. These things are simple and should be this way regardless but alas we find ourselves so deep in shit it's hard to see a way out. Baby steps. Hopefully those people in Darfur can handle our learning curve. It's not like their lives are depending upon action or anything. I mean they've waited for three years, what's three more?
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