This is some damn good writing

I refuse to settle for loving the idea of a man who does not exist. He is nothing more than the faintness that breath leaves behind on mornings like this. He is nothing to me. No birthday wishes, no matter how lovely they are spoken, can be true and free of hate or disgust or egotistical motivations. While my heart sank and my knees gave way to a weight I didn't realize I had, there was nothing there. It was as if he had been a used transparency, one that the teacher had scribbled on so many times it appeared gray. But suddenly, as if my presence was water, the transparency had been washed clean, and I could see right through it. It's pathetic motivations, it's pompous and self serving eyes. I still picture your face and the way you used to taste but only in dreams of you for the reality of who you appear to be is faded and bitter. Appearance is everything.

"I just made you up to hurt myself..."

I received my books for literature today and written on the edges of one of the volumes is this:


Yeah that's kind of disconcerting. Just a bit. I read through some of it briefly because it really rattled me seeing this... it's like OMFG is this really that bad?? It's not though, I could see myself reading this for enjoyment in my spare time.

I also started reading the first chapter of my econ book. I don't enjoy it as much especially considering they're stating things that are common knowledge or perhaps these things aren't common knowledge but instead I'm some sort of economical genius which is entirely plausible but unlikely. They're saying stuff like: every day you're using things that were made by different people in different countries and we also make things that other countries buy like food. They go on listing all kinds of crap for an example which I decided to type out right here for you so you can bear witness to the insanity that appears to be lurking behind the next page...

"You use or consume tens of thousands of things, both tangible and intangible, every day: buildings, rock music, compact discs, telephone services, staples, paper, toothpaste, tweezers, soap, digital watches, fire protection, banks, electricity, eggs, insurance, football, fields, computers, buses, rugs, subways, heath services, sidewalks, and so forth."

Are you fucking kidding me?!!?!?!? THIS IS THE COLLEGE EDUCATION I'M PAYING FOR?!!?!? These are empty concepts like pointing out that the sky is blue or hating liars. These are things that are agreed upon and known; we're not that stupid are we???????????

In fact, yes we are. Well not me specifically because I'm far more intelligent than most of the population (not to be ridiculously cocky or anything but this is true). Most of my friends are also of decent intelligence which is greatly appreciated by myself for if I didn't have them I would have lost what's left of my mind long ago. What you're left with is the rest of them. Uneducated and blind and obviously fucking stupid beyond measure if they're writing shit like that in a college textbook. It's insulting to me. It honestly is. How did my friends and I become so smart? By opening our fucking eyes that's how... And seeking out knowledge, refusing to succumb to being the puddle on the couch that is a video- gaming, generation whatever, gas guzzling, self- righteous moron. I play video games, but not all of the time. I would like to enjoy life at least a bit, experience something other than digitized graphics and McDonalds. Gross.

This is America. Don't even get my started, really I have too much to say. Clarice and I decided we need to start writing dissertations on all of this shit because we both could go on for hours and hours about the dysfunction of the world, our country, our government, and the stupid people around us.

I guess the person who owned my literature book was desperate... so am I...I don't know that I'll make it through this econ class if its this patronizing...help me...


Title quote by T. Reznor

(Yes, I've been listening to an awful lot of him lately... you should give him a listen. I prefer his more political songs, try the album Year Zero.)

Main Entry:

¹quote

Pronunciation:

\ˈkwōt also ˈkōt\

Function:...transitive verb1 a: to speak or write (a passage) from another usually with credit acknowledgment b: to repeat a passage from especially in substantiation or illustration c: borrow 2a <quoting the motifs of past artists>

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/quote

Este amor apasionado, anda todo alborotado por volver.

I'm pretty pumped for school to start. Summer has felt like forever as far as that goes. I had become used to textbooks being scattered on the floor of my bedroom and residual papers taped to the mirror and/or door that I used for last minute cram sessions. I found myself craving for stimulation of some kind (not that kind until more recently) and before I noticed, I realized I've read seven books since July, I guess six because Chomsky's is a pamphlet.

Speaking of Chomsky I ordered another pamphlet (the next one in the series) and a few other books that I am on the edge of my seat to receive. Amazon is probs the best thing since Chipotle (a more reasonable comparison: Google). I used it to order my school books, some movies and a couple of CDs, not to mention the four books and pamphlet for recreational reading. Pretty sweet. I saved almost $100 on my textbooks which was very welcome considering my Econ book is like $150 USED at the campus bookstore. What the hell does a hundred dollar book do for me that is worthy of such a price?! Education? I scoff at such incredulous bullshit. I feel that I pay enough as it is...

But back to the point, I am excited:

Principles of Microeconomics
Masterpieces of Literature: 1700 to current
Interpersonal Communication

I really can't wait. Soon I'll be complaining though, either about some professor or classmate or assignment or grade.

With the exception of being a total dork who's excited for school, I'm excited to report a couple of other pieces of news:

I finished my first real painting of a cartoon Cthulu which is so freaking cute (squashy) I wish it was real so I would be able to cuddle with it and such. Bubble gum pink background, black- outlined little Cthulu whose lime green with yellow wings on canvas board. Super cute. ^_^

I've started writing again which is so important. But not writing little aching love songs about not getting whom I desire (which I'm not but life isn't fair, yeah?) I've been writing these little mini novels, novelettes if you will.

By fate or by chance I came home on Saturday night-morning after drinking with Saira & Angelica at around 1:45 (I think but am not entirely sure on the time). I turned on my stereo which is permanently tuned to 90.1 (NPR) and laid down in my bed to sleep when all of a sudden this amazing song... probs the most beautiful thing I've heard in a while, at least since the last time I listened to the Frames. She was singing in Spanish with this lovely little guitar melody in the background and occasionally a saxophone after the chorus or break down. I was tired and had been drinking so I tried hard to remember something the British DJ was saying, any little hint of something that would be used as a tag when I Googled... Alas, the following day I could not remember much of anything except "world of music" which is a pretty common term, as I found out, and did little to help me at first.

After a good 40 minutes of searching NPR and CPR, I finally came to BBC World Service (I cursed my self for being such an ass, why did I not think of that... there is no explanation). And then finally after my contacts were dry in my eyes, I saw it: Charlie Gillett's World of Music.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/programmes/charlie_gillett.shtml

There is a schedule below the player. The song that struck me so is called Volver, Volver by Buika. If you use WMP to play it I don't believe there is any way to fast forward through the program to hear that song and I have yet to try QT. But really take that as a privilege, all of these songs are freaking awesome and definitely worth a listen. I suppose it depends entirely on your taste and the openness of your mind but I'm pretty confident most who read this have both. I would hope. ;)

California 2008

Day 1: Woke up at 4:00 am. Picked up Larissa at 5:40, coffee, gas, airport. Departed for LAX at 8:32 am.

I sat next to the most obnoxious woman on the airplane. It was all I could do to lose myself in Chomsky's Media Control. She had false nails and clicked them on everything; the seat-back table, the plastic armrests, and she even clicked them against her also-false thumb nails. She took her Crock off of her right foot and crossed her leg so that her sweaty, socked foot was millimeters from touching my leg. There was even the threat of an altercation, one she extended to the mother of a seven year old child. I don't really care to recall it in detail- but it should serve to say that in addition to be obnoxious she was ridiculous and tactless as well.

Arrived at 11:03 am (PST)
We were waiting for our baggage. I thought I'd snap a picture, perhaps in an attempt to capture our jet-lag or perhaps to intentionally catch Riss making such a face. After we gathered ourselves, we picked up the rental car and headed to In & Out (which we frequented over the next seven days). We received some sort of a discount due to, what I assume, the crush the dude behind the counter had on Larissa. He saved us close to $200. :)

In & Out was fantastic. It was like the way you know your mother's house smells and the assurance you get when greeted by it at the front door. Fabulous. We went to Venice afterwards and met a very nice dude by the name of Leo. His dirty, blond hair hung in his face and covered his eyes, which didn't seem to be able to fix upon anything. He and his friends were sitting in the shade holding signs asking for money for marijuana. Neither Larissa nor I had any cash to offer but the conversation, advice, and assistance was greatly appreciated by all involved.

We had to hit up Target on the way to the hotel because we both forgot beach towels. Geniuses. The hotel was nicer, much cleaner, than the Ramada we stayed at last summer. Plus this was in Manhattan Beach, I really couldn't have asked for a nicer city to stay in besides Venice or San Fran. There was tons of hot dudes everywhere because we had come during the International Surf Festival. Although we didn't see any surfing there, we did see some in Santa Monica.

After walking around a bit we decided to take naps at the hotel before dinner. We slept through the night.

Day 2: Woke up at 8:15 am, coffee, breakfast, showers, bathing suits.






We drove down the coast to Santa Monica but weather wasn't permitting so we decided to drive along the Pacific Coast Hwy.
We drove for about forty-five minutes until we turned around; the sun seemed to be coming out.







The beach was fantastic for the rest of the day. We went to dinner at L.A. Food Show; I had the Grilled Thai Chicken which was delicious. We followed dinner with THE best red velvet cake I've ever had and, I imagine, exists. Vanilla bean cream cheese frosting. That's all that needs to be said.

Dinner was followed by drinks which lead to Hollywood and then Gelato. We went to In & Out at around 1:00 for hamburgers and we watched SNL which normally isn't amusing in the slightest but that guy from 40 Year Old Virgin and Pineapple Express was hosting and he did a hilarious sketch, one that Larissa and I will be quoting until the day we die. "I said wheahhhh!!!!!!" LOL.

Day 3: Woke up at 9:00 am, coffee, breakfast, showers.

Admittedly cheesy but almost necessary when visiting, we bought a star map. We only drove by a few houses (Jennifer Aniston's and David Beckham's) but it really satisfies nothing for me. But it was interesting, all of the houses were beautiful and intimidating in both size and luxury. Really nothing that I have ever seen in the 303.
We spent the afternoon in Santa Monica on the pier and had funnel cake and coffee and contemplated going on a ride or two. We settled on pictures from a photo booth and a walk on the beach. The moon was so peaceful reflecting on the water and the sound of the waves crashing was really like no music I'd ever heard but stimulating and captivating all the same. The sand was cold which was nice compared to the burning heat that usually met the bottoms of our feet and we went without speaking for nearly ten minutes, enchanted by all of the sights and sounds.



Dinner was hamburgers and milk shakes from In & Out. She read and I watched some crap on the television and regretted not bringing something more to read with me.

Day 3: Woke up at 8:30 am, coffee, breakfast, showers, Manhattan Beach (aka Manhappenin' Beach).


We parked and spent the day walking around and shopping, and ending up at the beach for a bit. We went into the ocean and I managed to talk her into coming in pretty far. The waves did splash up our backs and necks, getting our hair wet and we were done after that.






We had dinner at some place I've forgotten the name of but I did have some delicious pasta- that I remember.












Drinks and then back to the hotel. We watched a show on A&E I believe... I may be incorrect. Jurassic Fight Club. I highly recommend it. It's fucking sweet.

Day 4: Woke up at 9:45 am, watched Mrs. Doubtfire, coffee, shower, Third Street Promenade.

We shopped for most of the day although I myself didn't do much of it. The Promenade is much like 16th Street Mall with shops and restaurants lining both sides of the sidewalk. We had lunch at yet another place I can't remember the name of. I had some interesting enchiladas... Larissa was told the Mexican food there isn't that great which I seemed to have found out. But all in all it was a nice day, there were street musicians, one who was playing the electric violin. After shopping we went to dinner and had food even less enjoyable than the Cali-Mex enchiladas. The Island. I remember that name. Gross.






Day 5: Woke up at 8:00 am, coffee, breakfast, showers, bathing suits, Santa Monica.



Santa Monica is probably my favorite beach in CA. The sand is really soft and the houses on the west side of the beach are nice to look at when you're tanning your back. We went into the ocean and did some walking around before playing some football

with a couple of dudes from UCLA and having a couple of Cokes before realizing how sunburned we were. We had dinner at In & Out for the last time and we were beginning to get downtrodden thinking about returning to work. I did look forward to coming home; I always miss it when I'm gone.



Day 6: The last day but the best one. Woke up at 8:00 am, coffee, breakfast, the observatory.

I don't think I can begin to describe how incredible the observatory was. So it's a good thing that I took plenty of pictures:
http://www.griffithobs.org/

We watched a little planetarium deal. It was just as cool as this place. It was about our place in the universe- very elementary but entertaining all the same. At the end, the guy narrating said something along the lines of, "When we look out into space and all of the stars are shining back at us, it's as if we're looking home."

I bought myself a shirt with Al Einsteins' face made of stars on it with a quote below: One feels as if one is dissolved and merged into nature

We had lunch at the Stinking Rose in Hollywood or whatevs. It has got to be the best meal I've had. It's a garlic restaurant so everything is covered, sauteed, baked, grilled, etc in it. They even gave us little garlic candies when all was said and done. Really unique and delectable.








Dinner at L.A. Food Show again. Chicken Picata. Mmm. Red velvet cake and ice cream to go, prepared for the following day.



Day 6: Woke up at 4:00 am, shower, last minute packing, checked- out, returned the rental car, left for home at 8:46 am, returned at 10:17 am.