Jon and I met for lunch today. We bought our tickets for the Telluride Bluegrass Festival on Friday so we were only bound to discuss the details of the trip. It is something distant to look forward to and take pleasure in planning. It's in the middle of summer and going with a group of friends only excites me even more.
We discussed school and our majors and went round and round debating a suitable one for me. I compared careers to my taste in men- inconsistent, ridiculous, and nearly free of any actual potential.
This lead to our newly coined term "fillers", a word which not only describes but almost entirely disrespects nearly ever lover he or I have ever had. In our defense they have been important if not just for the simple fact that they relieve some of that unrest in our lives but often times there is more gained such as fond memories or new experiences. The unfortunate side is that we are fully aware of the flaws that riddle these poor people and even worse is the thought in the back of our mind we know the relationship will expire. And although his love for Emily is something to be noted it should also be pointed out the dysfunction that consumes every moment and lie and manipulation that he is exposed to. The thought that such love consumes him almost disturbs me but there are times when I find in him something resembling myself. It's found in his eyes or smile, every reaction to her is extreme and passionate. If love is a drug, which I learned about recently, some of us have a serious problem. We've become slaves to a chemical, something in our minds that is so superficial that it removes any seriousness love ever had. If loving someone is as ridiculous as a mere chemical released in reaction to the thought of someone, well then who cares about love? The fact that I can obtain the same exact reaction from smoking or running or drinking makes me realize that there is no point in love at all. It's comforting to know that all of those feelings don't account for much. These individuals just managed to tickle my brain in the right place... how hilarious. And finally, I come to a quote spoken by the most intelligent man alive today, "If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion." All that love is is an illusion and although this may seem simple and childish, it makes me giggle at the thought of how utterly useless it all is.
We discussed school and our majors and went round and round debating a suitable one for me. I compared careers to my taste in men- inconsistent, ridiculous, and nearly free of any actual potential.
This lead to our newly coined term "fillers", a word which not only describes but almost entirely disrespects nearly ever lover he or I have ever had. In our defense they have been important if not just for the simple fact that they relieve some of that unrest in our lives but often times there is more gained such as fond memories or new experiences. The unfortunate side is that we are fully aware of the flaws that riddle these poor people and even worse is the thought in the back of our mind we know the relationship will expire. And although his love for Emily is something to be noted it should also be pointed out the dysfunction that consumes every moment and lie and manipulation that he is exposed to. The thought that such love consumes him almost disturbs me but there are times when I find in him something resembling myself. It's found in his eyes or smile, every reaction to her is extreme and passionate. If love is a drug, which I learned about recently, some of us have a serious problem. We've become slaves to a chemical, something in our minds that is so superficial that it removes any seriousness love ever had. If loving someone is as ridiculous as a mere chemical released in reaction to the thought of someone, well then who cares about love? The fact that I can obtain the same exact reaction from smoking or running or drinking makes me realize that there is no point in love at all. It's comforting to know that all of those feelings don't account for much. These individuals just managed to tickle my brain in the right place... how hilarious. And finally, I come to a quote spoken by the most intelligent man alive today, "If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion." All that love is is an illusion and although this may seem simple and childish, it makes me giggle at the thought of how utterly useless it all is.
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