Spirals are supposed to be pretty, like those things you did as a kid, Spirographs? They're these little plastic circles of varying sizes and you use colored ink pens to make a design on paper:

Ooooh pretty colors.

When I think of spirals I'm also reminded of the structure of our DNA:

Also, very pretty in my opinion.

Finally, my favorite spiral of all, is the Golden one:

I love spirals! Clearly! So why then, when I embark on the journey down the proverbial rabbit hole, do I find myself in the most desolate, unplesant, colourless place in the universe? I feel like I can't stop myself from feeling like my chest will explode if I don't cry. I feel like if my chest doesn't explode from the lack of moisture-emittance through my tear ducts, that my head will implode, leaving just my fluffy, sexy body behind, headless. As hard as I try to stop myself from the continuous plummet to the bottom, it's all futile (a word I find myself grossly overusing these days). I sit with my head in my hands, trying to hold the skull fragments and brain matter inside, and clutch my chest from time to time to ensure that my heart hasn't jumped ship and isn't leaving a bloody trail behind. I feel like crying but can't. All I want to do is go home, away from this place that I hate so much but for some reason, can't seem to get away from. And yet, I'm told no, you can't go home earlier. Just slow down. Slow down and realize that your mistakes aren't high risk. They didn't leave the company vulnerable.

And still....

The perfectionist inside wants to yell at him, "I don't care about risk! I care about the message I've sent, and continue to send, with each error I induce!" I may as well just get "incompetent" tattooed on my forehead... I have wanted another tattoo anyway...

I've made some mistakes at work and it just makes me want to lay in a corner and cut myself like an emo kid. I just hate it.

The fact that the errors of my ways are then microscopically examined by that Great White Asshole doesn't help matters. I only feel more stressed because now I've given him the good ol' "I told you so" card. He can use this now whenever he pleases. I hate that. This place is a game, just like life is, I suppose, and right now, I am losing.

I need to have better luck or learn how to count cards.

Then maybe I'll be able to see five moves ahead and get my Queen out of the way.