There is a guy here at work who has the longest fingernails I have ever seen on a man. In addition to those horrendous things, he has extremely long, curly hair which he pulls back into a braid or one of those pony tails that has like ten pony tail holders in it. My friends and I fondly refer to this as a "Pullet" [pullet originated from a mullet which is pulled back into a pony tail but then took on a life of it's own after this guy started working here]. My work is cheap so they've crammed two people into one office. The Creature (that's the dude with the nails and hair) sits in an office with one of my friends, let's call him Ryan the Temp. So Ryan the Temp will send me hilarious emails about how he is going to hang himself because The Creature won't shut up, or The Creature is listening to Evanescence. One of the most recent emails was in regards to the odor which permeates everything it comes into contact with. The Creature's odor isn't B.O. or the smell of farts or anything. Its just a very dirty smell. Like he went and hung out with a bunch of pigs before he came into work. It's awful. God awful as a matter of fact. Ryan the Temp complained today that he is getting a headache because of it. Something I feel I should point out: I know this makes me appear very judgemental, which I am, don't get me wrong, but it needs to be noted that I gave this guy a chance. I've learned, since I left high school, that it doesn't matter what people look like on the outside, it's what is on the inside that counts. So he and I used to talk about anime (which I LOVE) and science and all kinds of fun stuff until he told my boss that I said she was incompetent. In turn, she advised him to report me to Human Resources, which he did. I feel that it is only fair that I talk shit about him. I mean seriously, you can't stab someone in the back and expect it to go unnoticed. Additionally, you can't walk around with two inch finger nails and expect people not to talk. We work in an office for Christ's Sake! Where you have to dress up every day. And why my boss hasn't said anything to him about those things is beyond me. Perhaps she likes them. Perhaps they swapped stories about hang nails and broken nails. Perhaps he shared his nail growing secret with her and now she is forever indebted to him. I don't know, but it's gross. Ok so back to bashing him. Every time I go into their office to talk to Ryan the Temp, The Creature takes his headphones off (yes we're allowed to listen to music here) so he can listen in on our conversation. I have even gone as far as bitching extensively about my boyfriend and he still listens! What kind of dude would be into that? Weird. So I think the next time I go in there, I'm going to start talking about menstrual blood or something. Although Ryan the Temp probably wouldn't be very happy about that.
Some of the funny things Ryan the Temp says:
"It smells so effing bad in here. I can't handle it."
"I might have to move permanently. You should seriously come in here and do the nostril thing. I can tell when he's gotten up and left even when I'm not looking and have headphones on. "
"DUDE, this stench is for real giving me a headache. Maybe that is why my plant is dying. "
"My office should be sponsored by yankee candle."
He said something yesterday about bleeding on the inside. That made me LOL. The nostril thing he's referring to is when you enter their office, the smell is really strong in your right nostril. Sure you can smell it in both, but you can tell a difference. I used to think the smell was a combination of The Creature and Ryan the Temps Pants. I capitalized "pants" because we refer to them as "The Pants" because Ryan almost wore them for a month straight.
Ok, ok enough about The Creature and Ryan the Temp.
I feel kind of sick today. I am supposed to hang out with Dan this evening but I cancelled. Not sure what's going on there... do I even like him anymore? I mean it's weird because I never feel completely satisfied with him. He never likes me enough, or kisses me enough, or calls enough. Nothing is ever enough! Obviously that's a personal problem I have so I try not to bitch about such things. This relationship is either going to end well or it's going to crash and burn. I picture a flying machine plummeting to the ground, engulfed completely by fire. Either that, or a nice little wedding. I'm guessing the earlier one. But I care for him very much. I just don't think he feels the same way. And I keep waiting for him to. But he never does. And it's really having an affect on me. I am not nearly as nice as I usually am. I usually bend over backwards for dudes that I like. Not with him. Again, this is all probably just a personal thing that I need to get over. He's a wonderful person and a great boyfriend. I haven't liked anyone as much as I like him in a long time. Since the Cory days.
On another note, I'm getting ready for school. I have to get my ass in gear though. I am dying to succeed at something. Especially something as silly and simple as school! I want to feel the pressure of finals again. I want the homework and the books. I want to feel validated when I get an A or even a B.
I'll be entering some of my writing in a contest here at work. For some reason they want to help discover new artists. Every year, they make a calender which is sent out to our agents. So my writing could be displayed for an entire month in some dusty little mom and pop store! That's exciting. I haven't been writing lately though because Dan is just so good at it, I feel like I suck ass. (wow that was an eloquent sentence!) I mean I find I constantly compare myself to him and never seem to measure up... alright enough.
**Final Thought**
There should be a law prohibiting any heterosexual male from growing his fingernails beyond an inch and even that is too long.
